PoddyPeople

Open Mic Artist By Ian and Kevin

Memo To File -
From: Music
To: The Male Model Jerkoff at Sunday’s Open Mic
Re: Fake Plastic Trees

Everybody likes Radiohead. They’re our generations Beatles. That’s why I was so deeply disturbed when you busted out that cover of Fake Plastic Trees at Pete’s Candy Store’s Open Mic this Sunday past. If I were to give you a rating on that performance, it would surely be 0 out of 10 Chocolate Starfish (the lowest I’ve ever gone), but I won’t because you’re young, and I’m about teaching not discouraging. I much preferred the first song you played, sure you were out of tune and the song had no discernible structure, but at least you didn’t kill something beautiful. That’s right, you murdered F.P.T. dead. Now when it pops up randomly on my iPod, I push right past it like an ex-girl who blew my best friend. I don’t want to have anything to do with her, it, or you. Way to build up the fan-base, Camacho.

Also, you’re uniform, the bell-bottoms, the cowboy boots, the conspicuous muscles, healthy vibe and male jewelry. This is Brooklyn, not L.A. I want to see skinny jeans, a sullen demeanor, a pallid glow, and maybe some eye make-up next time.

I hope this was instructive